"You're Doing OK Mom"

I have to admit that I got all mushy when I first saw this commercial, but this extended cut brought tears to my eyes. In my mind, that's Temi talking and laughing and telling me how much she loves me. Mommydom is a hard job, one that non-Moms just don't get. And I think everytime we can, we should celebrate all the Moms out there that are really doing the best they can.

So here's to all my fellow Moms. This one's for us:

Oh No!! The Princess Doesn't Feel Well

Temi's been fighting a cold for a little over a week now. It got worse over the weekend then got better. We were finally coming out the woods when...

She threw up on Todd and spent the entire night fussing and running unusually hot. We woke up about 245 am to a fever of 102.2 that went down to 99.something by the time we got to the Dr. Turns out my princess has an ear infection on top of a runny nose, congestion, coughing, sneezing and teething. :-(

Antibiotics and lotsa Mommy's love should do the trick.

Shirley and Marcy

I came across this and I thought it was so0o0o cute, so I'm sharing. Enjoy! :-)

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. The neighbor said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew. She did this for the whole week.

As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?' Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.' The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?' 'That's just Shirley Goodnest ,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy ...' 'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us? 'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mum makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest (surely goodness) and Marcy (mercy) shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give,you peace

I Love My Girl Cuz She Can Do Her Own

At the airport in Dallas

Quick! Somebody call Ne-Yo and Fab and let them know that this girl righchea *yea me* is one bad chick. Not only do I got my own, but I can DO my own too (hair that is).

I remember many, many, many moons ago, my Teet decided it was time for a "big girl talk." She told me I needed to learn how to do my own hair. I think my mom was still doing my hair at the time, so I didn't think it was a need per se. Anywho, she showed me how to flat iron my hair because she said you just never know when the need would arise. And when ppl don't come thru you need to know how to rely on yourself. If you know my Teet, you know her words were a lot more "real" than that but you get the gist.

I've never really needed to heed her advice. I mean I've done my hair on plenty of occasions, but it was always a choice of mine. That all changed this weekend. I've been trying for THREE weeks to get my hair did. At first, for Valentine's Day, then for my trip to Dallas. The girl that does my hair was on some BS. My Plan B no longer worked at the shop. So I jumped to Plan C and took my Teet's advice. Now it's no flat iron but, I pay attention when ppl do my hair for the most part. Good thing too cuz I DEFINITELY needed to know how to do my hair this time.

*To my fellow naturalistas, I'm in the market for a new loctician, so holla at your girl if you got one you recommend. Next time I'm tryna get my hair done is before I turn 25 on March 19 :-)*

My babe said that it looked just like when ol girl did it, only longer :-D

My fix for the Isley Bros/Chrisette Michelle concert

Facebook is the Devil

But Mommy, I liiiiiiiike it!! Give it here!!

So this morning I learned what’s probably one of the toughest lessons in Mommydom: no matter how hard I try, I can’t protect Temi from all the evils of the world.

Temi’s gonna come in contact with all kinds of evils, directly and indirectly. People are gonna do stuff intentionally to affect her in a negative way and sometimes she's just gonna suffer bad consequences of good intentions. I can try my best to be her shield and keep her from them. I can be the front soldier on the battlefield for her, but I can’t prevent the attack from coming her way. I can’t put her in a perfect little bubble where she’s immune to everything. I wish I could but I can’t. 

 

I can warn her that "foosball" is the devil and hopefully she'll believe me cuz when I tell her to stay away from foosball and boys cuz they're the devil, I’m not prepared for her to tell me she actually likes them.

Oh and Facebook really IS the devil.

Happy 5 Months

It's been 5 months already...I can't believe it. Next month makes 6 and I'm not ready. My little girl is growing up so fast.

Here's some pix of her from daycare today. And yes, she was not tryna have the camera in her face.

A Family is a Blessing From God

Nice pic, but we DEF need more family pix

Last weekend, I was blessed enough to meet a family that is incredibly amazing and left me awestruck.

Since my encounter with them, I have not been able to stop thinking about them and praying that God continues to bless and keep them. I really don’t even know what to say, just wow. They left me speechless and I’m excited for the things that I know God has in store for them. I don’t even know where to start. The father is very protective of his family and it’s so apparent just being around him. He’s going to do what needs to be done to ensure his family is safe. I think that’s awesome. In a world where most images of black men show them up to no good, it’s refreshing to see a black family man. You can see the love he has for his family and that makes me so happy. I’m definitely praying for renewed strength for him because to be the leader and protector is not an easy task and it’s obvious he doesn’t take his job lightly.

The mom…is such a strong woman of God. Her faith in God is unbelievable. And it’s contagious. LOL. It’s amazing the wisdom and blessings you can get from simple conversation. I worry about Temi all the time. I wonder if I’m showing her too little love, if the food I’m eating is gonna cause her to have a severe reaction to my breast milk. If EVERY decision I make is the right one. Everyone has an opinion about how Todd and I should raise her and what we should be doing and those opinions contradict each other and it can be overwhelming at times because you never know which one is the right one. This mom told me that at the end of the day she gives it all to God because she doesn’t know what else to do and she finds peace in knowing that God is good. It might not seem like an epic, revolutionary statement, but you had to witness the conviction with which she said it. It was so0o0o comforting.

One day, their child is going to be an adult. A strong adult because that child has strong parents that are building a strong foundation for their family. That’s a blessing to witness because I know, as a parent and as a child with a “modern family,” how hard and delicate that balance is. Mommydom is scary. I can’t speak about Daddydom, but I imagine it’s equally as scary. You’re solely responsible for somebody else’s life now. You have to move past the mistakes you and your parents made, learn from them and do better for your child(ren). You have to compensate for the dangers of the world that you can’t control. There are days that I wonder if I’m doing it right. If I’m cut out for this. If Temi’s gonna grow up and look at me like, “Who the h3ll decided she was fit to be my mom.” After meeting this family, I know that I don’t have to worry about those things. Their story is so inspirational. And if they can get past their fears and build a strong foundation for their family, then we can too. Because Todd and I too are strong and we both know that God is good and everything’s gonna be okay.

So when I say my prayers, I’ll be praying for not just this family, but for all the mommies and daddies I know. Being a parent is a scary job and from time to time, we all need that extra strength and assurance to get thru the hard times, no matter how big or small. To have inner peace when we don’t know what else to do.

And as with everything, I’m going to love on Temi a little harder because everything I witness, good and bad, makes me realize just how much of a blessing and miracle she is to me and Todd. God makes no mistakes.

First Day of Daycare

We dropped Temi off for her first day of daycare today. My eyes were moist before I left her classroom. By the time we turned onto the street, I had buckets coming down my eyes.

I'm struggling to make it thru the day. I miss her so much. We've left her with people before, but this feels different. It hurts. :-(

Temi didn't even blink twice tho. She settled in with the other kids and flashed her million dollar smile.

She'll be ok, but my heart won't.

Facebook and Teens

I'm constantly asking myself how Todd and I are gonna handle those tough parenting situations every parent finds themselves in. I haven't got a clue. Hopefully it doesn't end with me having to "make her meet her maker", like the ol folks used to say. I'm hoping Temi will be an angel and won't give us any trouble, but in the event I have to take a page outta this dad's book, maybe a few lessons at the shooting range isn't a bad idea....

Watch "Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen." on YouTube

Learning is Fun

Temi has started to show an interest in everything now, including cell phones. Since she was tryna call ppl, Todd decided he'd download some apps and let her play.

Look at Temi learning her animal songs.

Note: She takes education VERY seriously.

Daycare :-/

This time next week, Temi will be in daycare. I'm full of mixed emotions as I count down the days. Since I decided to take the job, I've been tryna convince myself it's the right thing to do. Some days are more successful than others.

When it's all said and done, I know I'm making the right decision. But I still have fears. No one's gonna love her like I do or do for her what I will. And that's ok. And I know it doesn't make me a bad mommy, but sometimes I still mentally beat myself up over our decision.

So this week is gonna be hard. I want it to hurry up and be over with. I wanna get thru the first week of daycare already so I can reflect and say "It wasn't that bad at all. We can do this." But for now I'm just nervous. 

But at least I won't have to go thru this her first day of school. *looking on the bright side of things*

Glue? Uh, No Thanks...Thread Please

In case you haven't heard: London Woman, Atasha Graham, Dies Of Alleged Allergic Reaction To Hair Extension Glue; Similar Deaths Have Occured - The Huffington Post.

Imma KISS and just say that natural, relaxed, in-between, or other, PLEASE take care of your hair. Know what you're putting on it. It really is a matter of life or death.

Happy Black History Month

For the next 27 days, Facebook, Twitter, TV and everything else will be overran with facts about Black leaders and greats that we can find anywhere else the other 337 days of the year.

One of my natural hair blogs followed suit and that's how I came across  Little Known Black History Facts. I suggest you check it out. It's only around 28 days of the year, but it's not your usual Black History. I love it!

R.I.P. Don Cornelius

By now, you've all probably heard about Don Cornelius. Many people received the news with sadness as they reminisced on Saturday mornings spent in front of the TV. When I got the news, my whole morning seemed to pause.

Yes, I too remember Soul Train being a staple in my regular Saturday routine. I even fondly remember the enthusiasm shared with my best friend and fellow "followers" when B2K graced the infamous stage. But my sadness had nothing to do with that.

For me Don Cornelius' death brought back memories of another death that was painstakingly hard to hear. That of my godbrother. News stations are reporting that it was a suicide-he shot himself in the head. (Visit http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/obit/story/2012-02-01/don-cornelius-soul-train-dies/52913978/1 for the full story.)

In April, it will be two years since my godbrother killed himself the exact same way. I'll never forget when I heard the news. I'll never forget how it changed my entire day, weekend, life. It creates a different kind of sadness.

His death wasn't my first encounter with suicide and it wasn't my last, but it's the one that made it personal. When I was a freshman at BU, my granny died. A month later, her best friend shot herself because she couldn't stand the thought of being alone. About 6 months later, my boyfriend at the time lost his best friend to suicide. He hung himself for reasons I never found out. Over the years, I watched how it broke him down. The word suicide was taboo in our conversations. Then one night he threatened to kill himself cuz we broke up. It took almost two hours and a sobbing convo with his dad to get in touch with him. The fear that kinda threat creates is beyond words. It's surreal. The next time I'd feel that type of fear would be summer 2011, when I was good and pregnant. My best friend in Philly sent me a series of "I'm ending it" texts before he stopped responding. It took 90 minutes of runaround before I was able to get police to go to his house. Apparently 911 only works if you're in the physical location of the emergency. My heart stopped during that whole ordeal. I was NOT ready to deal with another suicide so closely.

I'm still not. I don't know what to do if someone says they're thinking about it. I've been thru suicide prevention courses. I even sought therapy for a while after my godbrother died. The only thing I found was that I'm helpless. If someone has their mind made up, they're gonna go thru with it. But I made the decision that I would always let my loved ones know they matter to me and I'm there for them. It's the best I can do.

And tonight, I'm going to hug Temi extra tight because one day she may find herself in the same situation as Don Cornelius, my godbrother, my best friend and countless others. In those moments, if she's thinking no one cares or she doesn't matter, I want her to be able to remember my hugs and kisses. I want her to know Mommy cares.

I pray Don's soul finds the peace he couldn't find on Earth.

This video clip is one of my faves and the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Soul Train.

Watch "Fresh Prince Meets Soul Train" on YouTube

Love. Peace. And SOOOOOOUUUUUULLLLLL!!!!!