Teach Me How to Play

Stuntin Like My Mama

A Mom's Legacy

In a post about life insurance, my fave mommy blogger wrote,

"My husband lost his mother ten years ago this month and I’ve seen firsthand the pain of being mother-less. It’s hard on him and his siblings, even as the years tick by. I asked my husband what was the one thing he remembered most about his mother. His response?

"I remember how much she loved me." What a perfect answer.

And that’s all we want, right? That’s all I want. I want my kids to understand that I love them. With all the air I breathe, with every ounce of my soul. I love them. So much, sometimes, that it almost hurts. If I do nothing else, I will show them that they are loved unconditionally and that there is nothing they have to do to earn my love. It’s already here. Always has been and always will be. Forever and ever."

I first thought about my mom and how much she loves and I wanted to share it with her. I thought of me, Temi and T-Time. Then I thought of all the moms I know. They all want their kids to know how much their loved. It's a mom's legacy.

To my mom: I love you!

Ladidadi, We Likes to Eat

In case you haven't met my daughter, to say she likes to eat is an understatement. Her stomach is a blackhole which sucks up all the chicken, mac n' cheese, crackers, milk, cereal, food. I'm amazed at how much she eats. She eats more than me and Todd combined. (And contrary to popular belief I can and do eat a lot, like large pizza to myself a lot.)

Here's a few candid shots of her enjoying her favorite pastime. And check out her tryna feed herself. (The duck sound is her godmother texting her...)

Watch "Temi Feeds Herself" on YouTube

Clean Up, Clean Up, EveryTemi, Everywhere

I don't know where she got it from, but Temi loves to clean. She will clean without being told to and I love it. Let's hope she keeps this habit up.

Watch "Clean Up, Clean Up, EveryTemi, Everywhere" on YouTube

25 Thoughts of Mommydom

1. OMG those babies. My heart breaks everytime I hear something else about the shooting. Frankly, I would like to go back to the cozy little bubble known as T4 that I live in. While so many ppl are arguing gun laws and mental issues, I just want to hug my baby a little tighter and kiss her more. (And maybe possibly sleep with her so that I know no crazed lunatics tried to kidnap her during the middle of the night…)
2. I hate the “B” word. I was spoiled. My siblings were/are spoiled. Needless to say I don’t find anything wrong with spoiling a child. But my mom was also hard on me. I think I have a nice balance. So maybe spoiled is the wrong word. Maybe showered. Showered with love, affection and really nice gifts :-P. Either way I think it’s all about balance. Having someone show you they love you does not make you a brat. And there are many ways to express and interpret love. Read the Five Love Languages.
3. As much as Temi’s screaming drives me up a wall. I realize that her communication skills aren’t very developed. So when she gets frustrated, angry or sad, she will scream and cry. It’s my job to help her learn how to be an effective communicator. (Hey that’s what my degree is in, so maybe I’ll get to use it after all. :-)) At least I can drink on this job. ;-)
4. Lately, the Mama Bear is coming out full force. I’ve always spoken my mind with those closest to me, but I generally try not to offend or hurt people. It’s becoming harder to do that when my family (T4) is involved. I love my extended family and friends. And I want to help and protect them. But the urge I feel to protect the family I helped create is so much stronger and primal. It’s almost uncontrollable and I’m okay with that.
5. I need to do a better job of staying connected with those I love. In my perfect world, keeping in touch is a two-way street. And for the most part, it is. But there are still those family members that simply don’t pick up the phone (or tablet/PC), yet still expect the communication to keep flowing their way. It’s not in my nature to put effort into relationships that the other party does not. Yet, I still feel bad that Temi is growing everyday and so many of those people have never seen her or have only seen her once since she was born. As much as I hate it, I know that it’s on me to put go the extra mile.
6. I want Todd and me to be better than our parents. Not that our parents were necessarily bad. But I want us to take the good (or the things we liked) and build upon it while learning from our parents’ mistakes.
7. There was a certain class of 2005 that said it was “Sweeter the Second Time Around.” Well, I knew back then they lied and now I can say with absolute certainty: “It gets no SWEETer than the first.” I have the various aches, hormones and morning sickness to prove it.
8. I think my daughter is absolutely superly duperly the best. She is my heart and I fall in love with her over and over at least a million times a day. My love for her makes me want to give her the world. I just hope it doesn’t blind me to her shortcomings. Cuz I want to be able to help her accept and overcome her weaknesses so that she can be a blessing to herself and others. I don’t want to hinder or harm her.
9. My daughter has an awesome smile. And it’s not just me saying that because I’m her mommy. Her teachers call her “Smiles” because she’s always smiling. She is smiley, bubbly and affectionate and I never want her to lose that.
10. I know that Temi watches me way more than I watch her and so she’s inspired me to make some changes in my life. I plan to give back more by volunteering and paying it forward, removing negativity from my life as much as possible, and being more positive. I want to uplift people more than I tear them down.
11. Temi is going to give me a run for my money. She is so independent. She wants to do everything herself. I hope she doesn’t become a perfectionist like her Mommy.
12. While most parents get annoyed with kids programming, I think I’m going to be that parent that likes the shows more than my children. After all, I did watch the Disney channel all the way up to college.
13. I’m pretty sure Temi has her aunt’s hair texture which is funny on so many levels to me. My sister was my first “baby” and till this day, I’m protective of her. I guess you can say I have a little Mama Bear instinct towards her. I was combing Temi’s hair when I realized that Temi pulled her hair out in the exact same spot that Myahna cut hers when she was about Temi’s age. At the time, I was styling her hair the same way I used to style Myahna’s. Which is awesome to me because the love I have for them both, they also have for each other.
14. I was talking to Keisha and realized that because of the age difference between me and my siblings, our children will never grow up together. Makes me thankful for the opportunity to know Todd’s side of the family. At least my kids will have some cousins to grow up with. (Some of my fondest childhood memories are with my cousins, not my school friends. Cousins are special because they’re siblings with different parents.)
15. Most of my friends that have kids live in different states and cities. It’s sad because these are the people whose kids I imagined my kids would grow up with and be best friends. I think they should all move back to Chicago so they can be near me and my kids :-)
16. My best friend needs to hurry up and have a child before my kids are too old to play with her kids and she has to hire them as babysitters.
17. I need more videos of Temi. I have lotsa pictures. Not so many videos.
18. I can’t wait to have Mommy/Daughter dates with Temi. In my head, we will get our nails done together and go for movies and ice cream and lunch and just have a good time. I want to start now, but I don’t know any places that she can really enjoy. Ideas?
19. I need to get out the house more. With Temi, with Todd, with Temi and Todd, with my friends, with/by myself. I’ve never really been a club/bar person, but I was never stationary for too long. I’m turning into a homebody and I don’t like it.
20. There’s not enough time in my day but I am determined to be super mom/girlfriend. One day Todd is going to look up and the house will be clean all the time, there will always be a homecooked meal, I will be doing stuff with Temi, having plenty of Taija time and still make time for him. I may become addicted to Limitless pills, but one day it will happen.
21. Did I mention that I love, Love, LOVE my daughter? Oh, I didn't well I love her so much.
22. I just realized I never blogged about Temi's first time saying "Ma." I actually don't know the first time she said it. She says so many words (and have said so many before "Ma") that it kinda didn't phase me. It did, however, make me stop in my cooking tracks when she stood by the oven and sang "Ma, Ma, MaMa, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma" for about a good minute or two. That was earlier this week and that would be when it hit me, that according to Temi's world, I now have a name. Is the infamous "Maaaaaaa" terror about to begin?? We shall see.
23. Temi plays her grandparents and plays them well. Her Nana and Granny are like putty in her hand. And she knows this.
24. Temi is so sweet that's it's just OMG, but I think she's starting to use her sweetness to her advantage. Don't wanna go to sleep, oh that's fine, I'll just give Mommy a kiss and play with her nose.
25. I absolutely, positively love my family. T4 is awesome and I just want to give us the world. My outlook on life and my priorities have shifted majorly and they revolve around T4 and I'm unapologetic about that. I want and need my own life outside of my family. I get the healthy value blah blah for all of that. But I'm a mother and family woman now. I'm not single. I'm not childless. And I don't mind.

 

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My Locs Are Rockin

So I got my hair done for the holidays. It's finally long enough to style and I'm loving it. When I got home, I braided the bangs and rodded them then had Todd dip the rods in hot water. I think I made the braids too fat because they wouldn't stay around the rods, but I was still able to get a little crinkle.

All in all, locsess :-)

Mean Nurse Lady

So Temi went for her 15-month checkup and she did NOT like that nurse one bit. She wouldn't let her check ANY of her stats. Then when they did the hemoglobin screen, Temi was ready to kill. She spent the rest of the time tryna remove the bandaid from her thumb, while her mommy longed for the days where she could nurse and make the tears go away.

Growing up is hard.

There's Got to Be a Better Way

Update: Here's a link to the video of Obama's remarks in case you missed it.

I just heard about the shootings in CT and I feel kinda like this picture...empty. Reports of 27 people shot and killed, mostly kids. The school was K-4. My heart breaks for all the parents that don't get to tuck their little ones in tonight.

It makes me question how much I take Temi for granted. I love her kisses and hugs. And I admit I get a little frustrated when she tries to use them to stay up at night. But God if I couldn't ever feel them again.....

A picture of the kids being led out by police with looks of terror on their faces is just too much. My prayers go out to all affected.

This situation is beyond sad and makes me think of India.Arie's song "Better Way."

Really?? That's All It Was?!?!?

So earlier this week, I talked about how Temi's screams were driving me crazy. I didn't know if she was throwing tantrums or something was seriously wrong. Turns out my baby was just tired of her "sick baby" food. She wanted some real food. She had one bite of tilapia and ran to her Daddy. After she finished all her food, she was bouncing all over the walls, smiling,  dancing, laughing.
Better but nerves are on edge lol

*Note to self: Much like her Mommy, Temi turns all shades of Incredible Hulk when she's hungry.

Momfessions #6

I'm sick.
Temi's sick.
I'm tired.
Temi's tired.
I'm sick and tired of it all.

I'm not sure how much more of her clinging and screaming I can take. This is like NOTHING I've experienced before. She wants me to lay on top of her so she can sleep. If Todd so much as looks her way, she breaks out in screams of bloody murder and THROWS herself into me. But wait get this....she keeps reaching out to him. Then turning away like he killed her puppy. She doesn't want me to leave her touch...literally. I'm going crazy over here. Help!!!???!!

Daddy Photoshoot

Temi and her second favorite person....

Cracker Please

Mommy's princess is feeling better as evidenced by my 6 am wake up call. She was all smiles and love and asking for crackers (which yesterday she wouldn't even look at). She started pointing at the pack and going "anh anh" which is Teminese for "I want that." I politely said "Say cracker" she just pointed. I said "say please" she just kept pointing. I never expected her to say anything, but I want her to get used to hearing that when she's asking for that, so eventually she knows how to properly ask for stuff.  Imagine my surprise when as I was preparing to get up to get a cracker, she said "cracker please" clear as day.

I almost jumped out my skin...Proud mommy over here!!!!

I Got the Blues

Duh dunna dunna...the "my baby is sick and it breaks my heart" blues...dun dun dun

So it seems Temi has come down with a stomach virus and it's turned my ray of sunshine blue. She just looks so sad. Poor baby. We'll just keep giving her my homemade Pedialyte* and let it run its course. Luckily, there's very little coming out the other end. We have enough laundry already.

*I got the recipe from a natural mom blog.

Say (Chuck E.) Cheese

On Sunday, we took Temi to my little cousin's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm not sure if Temi was taking it all in or what, but she was not trying to play any games or do anything. She looked straight bored. After walking around for a while, she started to loosen up and before long, she was running around like she owned the joint...until Chuck E. came out. Then she was scared straight. All in all, I'd say she had an awesome time.

To see larger versions of these and more pictures, visit TressesNTreasures on Shutterfly (http://tressesntreasures.shutterfly.com/pictures).

Hey Check Me Out

I'm in the process of building a photo share site for Temi to make it easier to view the pictures of her. As I learn and get better at this blogging thing (a goal of mine for the next year), expect changes that will hopefully make it easier for me to share our life with you more consistently.

With Todd and I both having family and friends all over the country, this really is the easiest way for us to share our most precious moments with all of you that we love so much.


Check out the site on Shutterfly at: http://tressesntreasures.shutterfly.com/. Hope you all enjoy.

Momfessions #5

Between T-Time and watching Temi grow, I'm nothing more than a puddle of tears these days.

Thanksgiving 2012

This past Thanksgiving, we did things a little differently and I have to admit that I am very pleased with the way it all turned out. Todd's siblings all came together with their respective others and in-laws in one central location and we all celebrated together. It was a nice blend of extended family and it gave my mom and sibs the opportunity to get to know the people that have so openly embraced me and welcomed me into their own family.

It very well could be T-Time talking (I swear I'm just a big walking ball of tears these days), but it was beyond words what I felt looking around the room at everyone. They say that we choose our friends but not our family, and while I did choose to be with Todd, many of the "family" that came along with him, I did not choose. I didn't even know them at the time. But I'm glad they're here. And if I could've chosen I don't know that I could've chosen anyone like them. Especially Erica and Keisha. I always wanted a big sister growing up, and now I have two. Those two are sisters and friends rolled up in one and what they mean to me now, I never could've seen it coming.

I was also thankful that my mom, bro and sis came. It made my night to see them interacting with Todd's family. It doesn't happen as much as I'd like, but I've always enjoyed watching Todd around my sibs. He gets along with all of them so easily, something that is very important to me because I love them so much and they were all my babies before I had my own. I was thankful for the chance to share an important part of my life with my mom. She has such a good heart and good intentions, even when it doesn't come off that way or work out the way she's planned. And I was glad that she was able to witness the outpouring of love towards me and Temi from people other than herself. I know as a mother how good it feels to see others love your child. And love is what my blended family does. Each in their own way.

Of course Temi had a blast. Food. Cousins. Aunts and Uncles. Grandparents. Food. Did I mention food?

This Thanksgiving I had a lot to be thankful for and it was evident as I looked into the faces of those that I love. Enjoy the pix. :-)


 

Click here to view these pictures larger

When Duty Calls

She came right in and got down to business.....